Dreams Of Scrabble

Odd dream last night:

Claire, Matt, Sian, Andy R and I were sat in a circle on the large pavement outside the dry cleaners on Great Darkgate Street, Aberystwyth, playing Scrabble. I wasn’t very comfortable sat where I was (between Claire and Sian), so I swapped places with Matt (between Sian and Andy), which was much better, but made remembering who’s turn it was somewhat more difficult. Not that I was doing very well, anyway – I’d already had to use my first turn to discard my entire hand of tiles and draw again, as I had started with 3 C’s, 2 D’s, and 2 B’s, which is almost useless unless somebody plays a word like “Adore” and you can make it past-tense by appending a “D”, or a word like “Ape” which you can put a “C” in front of.

In any case, Matt tried to play a thirteen-letter word (including a hash [#], which he’d drawn-on to one of the “blank” tiles with a marker pen), and I challenged that it wasn’t a real word. He claimed that it was a song title, and everybody seemed happy with that (despite never having heard of the song), except for me: I tried to explain why the rules stated that you couldn’t use proper nouns, but nobody was listening. Then we packed up the board and started walking towards The Flat.

On the way, Claire tried to persuade Sian that she shouldn’t have left the hospital.

Well; that’s all I’ve got for you. I’ve just gotten X-Com: Apocalypse to work under Windows XP by using a wonderful little tool called DOSBox, a cross-platfrom DOS emulator that’s significantly better than “Command Prompt” (cmd.exe) in Windows NT/2K/XP/2K3 (sound support [through emulation], VESA, etc.). That’ll keep me amused.

Dreams Of Escape

Just yesterday, I was commenting to Claire and Paul that I couldn’t remember any dreams I’d had, recently (we were talking about their recent dreams), and then, last night:

For some reason, this dream took place mostly in Preston. I was walking around a contorted, ‘different’-looking part of the Avenham district, towards Riversway (the dock itself is for some reason not shown on the linked map, but it’s there – both in real life and in my dream – in that big, grey area). In any case; upon reaching a large road near the dockside, I was surprised to find that a Safeway store had been constructed there since my last visit. But what I remembered being there was not whatever-really-is-there… what I remembered being there was a large hedge maze, in which Claire and I got lost in a dream I had several months ago. In any case, this superstore was spectacular, as it was not only the largest supermarket I’ve ever seen, but also included a large theme park. The big, green track of a rollercoaster snaked around in the air above it, and a yellow ‘caterpillar’-style train (with a big fibreglass umbrella in it’s midsection) whizzed around it. Behind that, I could make out a big wheel and an assortment of other rides.

Surprised at the presence of this unusual shopping centre, I continued to trek East, alongside the mystery new Safeway store. I began to miss Claire – having been reminded of her by remembering how a hedge maze used to be where the supermarket now was (mmm… dream self-referencial-ness). The boundary of the land that held the supermarket, theme park, and their associated car park, was marked by a shallow trench (about three feet deep and about six feet across) filled with water, over which bridges crossed to provide access to the car park. Further from the entrance – such as where I now found myself – this moat became wider, and small, long islands stretched along it in places. These were all well-kept: covered with recently-cut grass – and the borders of the islands were entirely vertical, reinforced with rough-hewn bricks.

I came across a man wearing an invisibility jacket (a.k.a. a glo-vest), who, seeing me looking at the moat, showed off by demonstrating that he could ‘run’ on the water, dancing along on his tip-toes. He explained that the water was not as deep as it looked, and when I tried it, I found that he was right. I followed him along one of the central islands, back towards the supermarket entrance, and he took off his high-visibility jacket (and I was unsure where he put it, because I never saw him carrying it). But we could only go so far before we came across a small sign, implanted in the grass, stating that we were going the wrong way. For awhile, I considered disobeying, but a woman in a Safeway uniform was walking towards us, down the island, so I decided against it. Thanking the man-without-the-day-glo-clothing, I continued to trek coastwards.

Somehow, here, I came across a large bus station (which also doesn’t exist) on a remarkably busy dual carriageway. Here, things go a little hazy, but I remember that I was speaking to a woman and her daughter, and they were running away from something, and they asked me to deliver a bag (identical to a bag I own) to a friend’s house in Fulwood (North Preston), where she and her daughter would be staying, which I agreed to do. And I remember looking at the contents of the bag and thinking that they were travelling rather lightly. But that’s about it.

Sorry it’s not as interesting as some of the ones reported when I was taking Lariam, earlier this year.

Nightmare Before Halloween

Despite all the fun last night brought, the alcohol evidently went to my head somewhat and I had a particularly awful nightmare. I dreamt that, later this month (on the 29th, in fact), Claire dies of a terminal illness. I don’t remember much of it; only that we were making preparations for Halloween when she died (we were buying face paint in a shop not unlike a cross between Stars [strange ‘alternative’ goodies in Aberystwyth] and the Post Office around the corner from my Dad’s house [as I remember it as a kid]).

Fucking frightening. Not a good start to the day.

Right – a few more things to do at work, then I’m off to help talk to some Freshers about volunteer work.

Lottery Scratchcards And Illicit Hallucinogens

Damn weird: last night I dreamt that I found a lottery scratchcard which had not been completed – just two of it’s sixteen panels had been scratched off. While I’d not be fool enough to buy one (the mathematics is simple – the lottery is a stupidity tax), I’ll happily play one I didn’t pay for, and so I scratched off the remaining panels. The scratchcard was a £1000 pound winner. I claimed the money, and spent it all on LSD. Coincidentally, I can’t remember much of the dream after that…

Dreams Within Dreams Within Dreams

Last night I had a very odd dream, with references to previous (recurring) dreams, interspersed with appearances from people I’ve met since:

The dream begins in rough marshy ground. There is a dredger visible in the distance, but only one of it’s two pumps appears to be working. I’m there with Claire, and we’re trying to pick our way across the reducing land to escape from the marsh, as the waters rise. Claire seems concerned that we may be cut off and stuck out here. A fog begins to fall around us, and visibility is reduced. The sun can just be made out, close to the horizon.

I find my way to a road – unmarked and single-track, but with tarmac. I’ve lost Claire somewhere, but this doesn’t seem to be of any major concern. I make my way along the road to a village, somewhat reminiscent in architecture and surroundings to those in the Yorkshire moors. The fog is clearing somewhat as I make my way through it’s streets and enter a public house. There, I order a drink and sit down.

At this point I realise that these things are not actually happening, but that I am telling them as a story. I am in the office at SmartData, sat at the meeting table. With me is my friend Sandy (a.k.a. Kink), and it’s to her that I’m relating this bizarre tale. The story is, in itself, based upon a recurring dream I had in about 1999/2000, in which I was spending a reasonable amount of time with Sandy, but I had not yet met other people who appear in the dream, such as Claire and Paul – these have been ‘added’ later. The story continues:

I sit at a corner table in the pub and sip my drink. Later, it begins to get busy. Three women come and join me at my table, and strike up conversation. Meanwhile, Paul wanders in and sits at one of the centre tables. For some reason, I recognise him, but cannot remember who he is or from where. He looks very thoughtful.

I large man with black hair and pale, drawn-out features enters the bar. Suddenly I am very afraid, because this man wants to kill me. I hide underneath the table as he announces that he’s looking for me. I wait until he leaves, and then reappear. The ladies I’m sat with are, of course, curious, and so I explain that it is me that the man is looking for. I decide that I am not safe here, finish my drink, and leave. Once outside, I continue down the street, wondering what to do next.

I see the man, at the opposite end of the street, running my way. I turn down a side street, and, upon reaching the next crossroads, am struck by a revelation – I’ve dreamt this before. The memory of this dream is fragmented within itself, but I can remember it nonetheless. I am still not aware that this, too, is a dream, but it starts to make sense: I foresaw this when I dreamt it before, and it is this same precognition that is having me recognise people (like Paul) that I’ve never met. I think hard, and remember that in the dream I turned right at this crossroads, and was later caught, and so instead I turn left. As the man rounds the corner I duck into a toy shop.

No, that’s not right – I did that last time, too. Same toy shop, but I’d turned right last time. No: maybe I made a mistake… or maybe I really can’t escape. I hear the man approaching the shop, so I rush down into it’s basement floor (childrens’ clothes, by the looks of things) and hide under a pile of coats. The man enters, and I hold my breath. But my cover worked, and he leaves. Again I’m struck by the memory of my dream, and I realise that this is what happened there, too: is there no escape from the increasingly-inevitable finale?

The sales assistant seems pissed off at my intrusion, so I buy one of the coats. Somehow, it’s too big for me, and I conceal myself within it. Every step I take, I remember as having already done, in my previous dream, but never soon enough in advance to reconsider and take a different course. And so it goes on, step by step, as I return to the bar, each step preordained – yet still unanticipated – as it falls.

I pause in my storytelling in anticipation of the next bit – the bit I’d been looking forward to telling Sandy. In this ‘reality’, the occurrences in the village are not dreams – not any more than the action of telling them to her was, in any case. However, I talked of it as if the dream I was remembering was just that; a dream. Within this convoluted little nightmare she was fascinated by the story. As I came to this, a convenient break point, Claire and Paul appeared in the hallway outside. Paul was wearing exactly the same clothes as he had been in the story.

During this break in the storytelling, I produced a hardback lined A4 pad, reminiscent of the ones in which I kept a diary during the years that I was at college, and for a little while afterwards. In the dream, I had kept several separate books, one for each of several friends who I saw less frequently than I would like, and whenever I’d had the chance to meet with them, I’d had them write a page or so in their book with an update of their life since their last entry. Sandy obliged, looking over some of her previous entries and reminiscing awhile, before adding a new entry. Then, I continued my story (again, feeling as if I am ‘acting it out’ at the time):

Re-entering the bar I am immediately confronted by my pursuer. I hide underneath the hood of my coat, and affect an accent when I talk in order to conceal my identity. It works, and, thrown off by my disguise, the man turns away, giving me a chance to escape. I retreat to the street, where I leap onto the back of a passing bus, and hang on as it drives off. The village disappears behind me.

At about this point, my alarm clock went off, bringing an end to the dream. Interpretations and comments welcome.

Lariam Dream The Fifth

[this post has been partially damaged during a server failure on Sunday 11th July 2004, and it has been possible to recover only a part of it]

[more of this post was recovered on Friday 24 November 2017]

Wierder than all the rest, this dream’s insane. Perhaps it’s time to be thankful that I only remember fragments of it. The bits I remember, in an order that seems to make sense in hindsight.

I’m travelling by car – down the A1, South, towards Leeds. Somebody is driving, but I’m not sure who. There are two other passengers: one is Claire, and the other is Not Claire. I don’t understand why I’m transporting both of them, but apparently I need them for something important in Preston.

We arrive at Preston, and go to my mum’s house. (recurring theme, anybody? – what’s going on in my head) I leave Claire and Not Claire there, and excuse myself.

I find myself at some kind of crypt, made with red bricks and with a black slate roof. (this particular building featured in a dream once before, when I was in primary school) I go inside, and find a dead horse inside a coffin. (spacial awareness was somewhat screwed by this point) The ghost of the horse was here, I knew, and, concentrating on it, I was able to see ‘through it’s eyes’ that it was looking over my shoulder at the body. And then, something else: I could see …

 

Lariam Dream The Fourth

Perhaps the most disturbing dream yet since I started on this weird medication. And I promise you that if you know the people starring in it, you’ll be scared, too…

Warning: Sexually Explicit Content – You Have Been Warned

I only remember fragments of the dream, but two particular images stand out:

  1. Lots of men in their 40s, all with beards, sharing a bungalow. With Adam Westwood.
  2. Matt Reynolds fucking me up the arse, and repeatedly telling me how much he was loving it.

Just thought I’d share those images with you so you know what my head’s going through. Fucking weird.

 

Lariam Dream The Third

[this post has been partially damaged during a server failure on Sunday 11th July 2004, and it has been possible to recover only a part of it]

[more of this post was recovered on Friday 24 November 2017]

Another weird dream last night. Surprisingly similar ‘cast’ to some previous ones.

Some friends and I, and my mum, are driving in a silver SUV-like thing to a hill in what looks like the lake district. The hill is tall and long, with steep sides – not unlike Wernside – and is covered with lush grass. We’re going to play hide-and-seek. I’m hunting first. But this hide-and-seek game is different from most – each player has to take a llama with them (on a lead), and the hunter can use his llama to track the other llamas (and by proxy, their owners). Llamas apparently have an amazing sense of smell, and can identify each other by it over vast distances.

My llama is called Molly, and we start to climb the bank on one side of the hill, to try to find the others. As Molly sniffs the air, she feeds back information to a device I’m carrying, which projects a heads-up-display onto my retina. This shows me the direction that the other llamas are in. It points out the direction of a llama called Mike. That’s Claire’s llama, I remember, and follow it. I find Claire and her llama in a cave, and we continue hunting together.

The next person I find is my mother. …

 

Lariam Dream The Second

[this post has been partially damaged during a server failure on Sunday 11th July 2004, and it has been possible to recover only a part of it]

[further content was partially-recovered on 13 October 21018]

Another somewhat trippy-themed dream since I’ve been under the influence of lariam:

I am at my mum’s house, and I’m watching some live chat-show-like TV program, and my little sister Sarah is on it: however, she appears a lot younger (6 or 7ish, and she’s wearing her primary school uniform) than she actually is (which, oddly for a dream, I notice is odd). In true chat show style, according to the host, she’s going to meet somebody from school who she hasn’t seen in years (???). Some other kiddies appear behind her. Sarah turns around and looks at them, then starts writing something on a large yellow board using a chunky marker. She holds up her little placard to the screen. I don’t remember exactly what it says, but it implies that the show was being staged and that those people weren’t really there, but that they were being digitally added.

I leave my mum’s house and begin to walk to my dad’s house. I’ve rounded the corner between Holme Slack Lane and Primrose Road, and my mum pulls up alongside me…

 

Lariam Dream The First

I’d been warned that this stuff could give you weird dreams. Last night I dreamt entirely in anime. Which is pretty impressive, I thought. I was a character in a Studio Ghibli-esque anime flick (it was dubbed, so I was moving my mouth in Japanese and somebody else’s voice came out in English – the same was true of everybody else). Somebody had built two tall golden skyscrapers and was offering free rides up and down them in the lifts. I joined a lift packed full of people (oh yeh; I was a little boy again – forgot to mention that). It was an old-fashioned operator-controlled lift, with a big blue lever of unusual shape at either end to control the ascent/descent and doors (yes, just one lever: no; that wasn’t explained). When everybody got off I played with the lever and took the lift up and down and up and down and up and down… pretty much all night.

Sex, Sexuality, Friends, Family, Defecation, Unfamiliar Places, Familiar Places, Failure, And Other Things To Make Freud Blush

[this post has been partially damaged during a server failure on Sunday 11th July 2004, and it has been possible to recover only a part of it]

Oh your god. What a dream! It’s been years since I’ve dreamt anything so ‘out there’. Perhaps a result of all the Hobgoblin I drank last night. Perhaps caused by exam stress. Perhaps we really are just a product of the things we take in from the world around us – my dream seems to twist and contort …

Last Few Dreams

Last night’s dream
Claire was complaining at me because I’d bought online driving lessons, which she considered to be significantly worse value for money than ‘traditional’ ones. I argued that I didn’t actually want the lessons, but they were only 10p each and I only had 20p pieces and I needed 10p pieces, so I bought them so as to have them give me 10p pieces in change.

After I was woken by the alarm and hit the snooze button…

This morning’s dream
I wake up on Ynyslas beach, and (despite wondering how I got there) decide that I ought to go to work, so I start trekking South towards Borth. Alex, a coworker, overtook me, driving his old car (he replaced it a few months ago).

Monday night’s dream
Somewhat reminiscent of Far Cry (a first-person shooter I’ve been playing too much of recently), I was armed to the teeth and shooting heaps of mercenaries. As time went on, I began to have a conflict of morals, and began wondering who was the ‘bad guy’ – me, or them. Then, perhaps to prove it, I raped one of the hostages I was supposed to be rescuing. Hmm.

Last Night’s Dream

[this post has been partially damaged during a server failure on Sunday 11th July 2004, and it has been possible to recover only a part of it]

[further fragments of this post were recovered on 13 October 2018]

Last night’s dream was somewhat weird. Like so many of mine:

I’m travelling by train with Claire. We’re going to meet a guy who’s going to give us (plus some other folks we know) a desirable-sounding job. Upon getting there, we find that the other people starting work for him include Alec, Bryn, Liz, and some other folks. Our boss is a tech-geek-guru in a wheelchair. His computer is powered by the kinetic energy of people moving around the room, which is cool and environmentally friendly, I guess, but what happens if everybody stands still? Does he have UPS?

Anyway, we begin our on-the-job training. This involves rowing a one-man dinghy across the office (one side of which is half-filled with water – why it doesn’t flood into the other half I don’t know) to answer one of about twenty phones which are arranged in a crescent shape on a curved shelf at the other side. These phones are old, Bakelite, traditional phones (a …

 

Nightmare!!!

A (1) nightmare and a (2) just-plain-freaky dream last night. My brain’s playing up:

1. Claire and I, older, are in a train. She has a heart attack; I try to get and then, failing that, provide, help, but fail to and she dies. Then I woke up.

2. Strange semi-futuristic post-apocalyptic world, reminiscent of The Postman or Dark Future (anybody else ever play that?). I, among with many others, are slaves of a desert-dwelling tribe, having been kidnapped by them. We are beaten and mistreated to keep us under control. Don’t remember much more than that.

Liz had a nightmare last night, too. Maybe it’s something in the water?

 

Only When I Sleep

I remember fragments of a dream from last night:

I was back with Reb (the ex- I complain about); we were living together in a place in Aber. But I was secretly plotting to kill her so that I could escape with a pretty female train ticket inspector (entirely a figment of my imagination), who’s name I forget – could have been Louise. I remember a little a rather complicated scene in which Reb and I found ourselves on her train, and the plan nearly come out.

In any case: as far as I remember I woke up without having managed to murder Reb. More’s the pity.